Master your Emotions- Key Takeaways

Please Note - This is a very short summary of what I understood from the book. Or more precisely you can say my interpretation of the Book. Any Suggestions, Feedbacks and Discussions are always welcome :)

     The author describe emotions as temporary feelings. They're not permanent and hence we have ability to mould them. E-motions basically arise from thoughts and feed them this in turn generate stronger emotions. The more you'll avoid it the more you'll get stuck into it. Best way is to identify and acknowledge them. And then act accordingly. 

Again there's an interesting concept of Hedonic Adaption. We may experience peak joy or peak sorrow at times. In most of cases we have tendencies to give up, we believe that this isn't going to change or something like that. But believe me, time changes everything. Also the emotions which we are experiencing are not permanent. They'll eventually go away. Sometimes, I feel very much overwhelmed and I often start thinking about the situations very rapidly but then I consciously remind myself that this is temporary. This isn't going to last. And that gives a sense of relief.

 

The author also describes An Emotional Ladder. At the very end of it is a feeling of depressivenss. Above that is anger and as you go on climbing it up, you'll see more positive feelings like satisfaction,  contentment or joy. 

He also describes how the Emotions are created in first place. And it's a simple formula:-

Interpretation + Identification + Repetition = Strong Emotions 

Interpretation- Something happened in physical world and you cooked up a story according to your level of understanding is Interpretation.  This plays a major role because most of the times we interpret things incorrectly.

Identification- Based on our Interpretation we decide to label that feeling. There'd a need to be correct in everyone. So we start labeling it as something  negative.

Repetition- Believe me or not but we feel comfortable when we think we are right. And to justify this we start revisiting those thoughts in our own head. 

"That solely means we are the creator of majority of our own problems. Hard to digest. But still."

Factors that impact emotions:-

1. Sleep 

2. Body Language and Postures

3. Thoughts 

4. Words you Use

5. Breathing Patterns

6. Environment 

7. Music

Dealing with "Not Good Enough"

Author describes several ways to overcome this.

Few of them are as below 

1. Make a note of your accomplishments till now. Revisit them regularly 

2. Start maintaining gratitude jar 

Dealing with Resentment/ stress 

Ask yourself 

1. Is this situation worth stressing for?

2. What would I need to believe if this is true

3. What would I need to believe if this isn't true 

4. Has that happened to me in physical ? Or I cooked things up in my mind 

Note- I've reframed these questions according to myself. Please refer to the book for original questions

Example -

I feel someone is avoiding me just because they forgot me to invite at a party. 

1. Honestly answering no. It's not a big deal.

2. They are ignoring me. They don't like my company. They don't want me to hang out with them.

3. Probably they might be busy. Or else they have thought since I'm not a social person I would turned down their invitation so they didn't ask.

4. Physically they didn't invite me. But mentally I cooked things like am I not good enough. They don't wanna hangout, etc 

To avoid this, author suggests to have a clear conversations to avoid confusion.

Dealing with Procrastination 

Most of the times we procrastinate because we say I feel tired. I might not it well, etc.

Author says these are just justifications that we gave it to ourselves. One famous quote says "Whenever we say we are tired, we have actually used mere 40% of our brain."

So now what's ur Excuse ? 

Please Note-  The book had several exercises at the end of each chapter for which you'll need to revisit the book again and mark your progress. 

For me, the book was Insightful 😇✨️